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I never even listen when you tell me them.". "You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.". "I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.". "Mirrors can't talk. Lucky for you, they can't laugh either.". "Shock me, say something intelligent.".
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More Funny Jokes. If you enjoyed our hilarious jokes and puns about glasses, be sure to take a closer look at the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: Eye Jokes. Blind Jokes. Dad Jokes.
20 Images of People Who Foolishly Asked To Be Roasted Funny Gallery
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You call that roasting? r/RoastMe
4. I know the feeling of forgetting new prescription glasses at home, after you have been told that you MUST wear them for night time driving. All I could see were blurry traffic and street lights and extremely blindingly bright car lights. I have astigmatism, so I'm basically screwed without glasses at night. 2.
15 Roasts People Probably Regretted Asking For Funny Gallery eBaum
17. My glasses may be a visual aid, but your insults are just a sign of your verbal shortsightedness. Insult their lack of wit and verbal prowess by using this witty comeback for them. By using this statement, you are implying that they suck at coming up with creative insults. 18.
a man with glasses sitting in front of a blue wall
3. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. 4. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. 5. Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. 6. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we've been married for 10 years. 7.
Failed actor, tap dancer and engineer. I have nothing left to give to
A man walks in a bar and says: 'I'd like 7 double wiskeys, please.'. The bartender nods and starts pouring 7 glasses of wiskey. As soon as the first glass is ready the man starts chugging, one glass after another. The bartender, dumbfounded, asks the man: 'Why are you drinking so fast?'.
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Duck Blues. On of my best friends just told me she's getting glasses. Being the jackass that I am, I plan to make fun of her for the rest ofher life. it's been a long time since elementary school, and I can't remember any of the good insults. I'm sure there's stuff better than "four eyes."
a man with glasses leaning on a balcony railing and looking at the
I Previously Thought You Were My Spec until You Took off Your Spec. "I previously thought you were my spec until you took off your spec" is another funny way to roast someone in glasses. It's another play on words people will find funny. You can use it to tease your friend when they take off their glasses.
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1. Brainstorm multiple punchline options on note cards. Put your story or joke setup on one side of the card. On the other side, come up with punchlines, including different directions you could take the joke (like less insulting, more insulting, sentimental, or absurd).
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10. My glasses are like a cute little black dress - timeless and always stylish. 11. "I like my glasses like I like my jokes - bifocal and full of humor.". 12. "My glasses are like a life preserver - they keep me afloat.". 13. "If you need me, I'll be over here, looking for my glasses.
21 Ladies Who Asked the to Roast them and Got More Than they
Pour the oil over the potatoes, and sprinkle salt flakes on top. Place roasting pan in the oven and roast for 10 minutes, then turn the oven down to 200C / 390F (180C / 350F fan-forced) and let the potatoes cook for an hour uninterrupted. You'll be tempted, but don't interfere with them in any way!
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Try out these lines and watch people go, "Oh, damn!". 1. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. Even mediocre is a milestone for you. 2. You must hear, "let's be friends often.". At least people are still willing to be your friend. 3. It's impossible to underestimate you.
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If I were to roast you, I'd need an oil field, an ocean of spices, and an airstrike of napalm. When this is your fifth bag of Doritos and you've already drunk 10 Mountain Dews. But nobody said anything about not roasting a diabetic ogre with expansive back acne in glasses.
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3.8M subscribers in the RoastMe community. Roasting (v.) - To humorously mock or humiliate someone with a well-timed joke, diss or comeback. (Asโฆ
